Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize