You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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