I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize