I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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