I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize