I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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