Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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