I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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