Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
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Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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