I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize