I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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