There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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