It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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