i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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