nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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