apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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