Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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