i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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