i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize