dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize