Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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