I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize