I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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