I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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