I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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