Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize