Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize