Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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