Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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