Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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