everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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