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Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
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