Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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