I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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