watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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