it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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