If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
wow bdsm is so cute
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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