dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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