Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize