so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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