hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
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I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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