And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize