Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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