So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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