literally had 100 drinks last night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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