i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it was like eating out sand paper
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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