he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize