you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize