i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
operation harelip BJ is a go
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize