Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
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That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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